Seeking a Better World
Why are women disaffiliating from religion at an increasing rate? What does it mean for women to “lay aside things of this world and seek for things of a better” as Emma Smith was counseled to do in Section 25 of the Doctrine and Covenants? A recent discussion of these questions sparked a passionate response from countless women. Faith Matters invited any who were interested to share their thoughts and experiences. Dozens and dozens of women and men offered heartfelt, meaningful responses. Each one is important. What follows is only a small sample of the chorus of voices, organized thematically but without forcing harmony. Faith Matters offers this collection of perspectives to all those who want to better understand the range of women’s experiences in the church, who want to magnify the wisdom of women’s voices, or who want to find words for their own experiences.
How do men and women work together in a Zion community? Equal partnership between men and women is the pattern of heaven.
“The better world I am seeking within my faith is the better world of combined voices, male and female, leading together.” —Tiffany Smith
“This is not a crisis of belief, it’s an opportunity for renewal. Within our own faith communities, we can begin to build something more whole and inclusive. We can create spaces of shared leadership, mutual respect, and spiritual collaboration. We can carry the load together, shoulder to shoulder, with humility and trust. Women aren’t asking for power; we are offering it. We are offering wisdom, strength, and the kind of spiritual insight that comes from lived experience. We are offering to continue to help with the heavy lifting of faith, not alone, but together. If we want our spiritual communities to flourish, we must create them, together, in ways that honor every voice, every gift, and every soul equally.” —Emilie Call
“To me, restoration is about creating Zion and building the Kingdom of God here on earth. … We know we should not be commanded in all things. It's time to stop putting women on the pedestal that keeps them out of the way and bring them into full decision-making parity on every level.” —Becky McLean Simmons
“So many women of my generation are yearning for meaningful changes that align with our doctrine—changes that foster true partnership, honor women’s voices, and affirm our spiritual authority. Not just for ourselves, but because we know our daughters, sisters, nieces, friends, and granddaughters need more space to grow, flourish, and lead within the spiritual home we have gifted them… Through our lived experience and divine promptings, we know that more can be done—and must be done—if we hope to continue building Zion, where the next generation of valiant women will not only stay, but thrive within the walls of our chapels. … I do think there are things we need to “lay aside.” But what are those things? Is it time to set down the practices, assumptions, and cultural traditions that stifle growth and make it harder for young women to find belonging, purpose, and spiritual comfort in the Church?” —Amy Watkins Jensen
How can the Church help all members, including women, to grow to their full potential? Women should be valued not only for their sacrifices, but for their gifts of leadership and spiritual authority.
“Women don’t want to be placed on a pedestal. We want to be heard, we want to be in leadership, and we want partnership.” —Annie G.
“If women are essential to the survival of the church, shouldn't they also be essential to its leadership and decision-making? When women see that they are expected to serve but not lead, it sends a clear message that our contributions are necessary but our authority is not. This is deeply discouraging and spiritually harmful. Many women leave not because they lack faith, but because they feel like second-class members in a faith they love. Our church teaches that all are alike before God. Yet, we operate in a way that contradicts this, making gender the determining factor in leadership. When we ask women to dedicate themselves fully but then limit their authority, it creates a spiritual conflict. I am an active member, and it is painful to give so much to a community that does not fully recognize your potential or trust you with power. Women leaving church is not a rejection of God; it's a rejection of inequality. Women are not abandoning their spirituality; they are seeking places where they are valued as equals. Churches that do not address this will continue to lose women, not because women don't care, but because they care too much to stay in a place that refuses to fully include them.” —Steffanie Martz
“Our church has provided almost all of the good things in my life. AND I have felt less valued and often ignored by members and policies within the church. The gospel has helped me to grow and learn incredible truths. AND I don’t believe that the current practices and policies fully align with what I believe our Heavenly Parents want for us. I want SO BADLY to participate fully and joyfully in the gospel and to share the joy I have found in Christ through Latter-day Saint teachings. AND church is where I have felt incredible hurt and sorrow, partly because of doctrine that the Spirit tells me is not complete or fully revealed, and partly because members struggle with change and progress and want to keep the status quo.” —Anne Pimentel
“Women have always been the backbone of the Church, filling leadership positions in auxiliary organizations, carrying the weight of missionary work, and providing the majority of service and emotional labor within congregations. Yet, despite their essential contributions, they remain excluded from key decision-making roles, particularly in priesthood leadership. If Church leaders recognize the growing trend of women leaving the faith, why aren’t policies shifting to address their concerns?” —Chad L. Stevens
“Often what is being offered in the Church does not promote the spiritual growth of women. It stunts their agency, inspiration, and leadership by always subordinating it to a man’s. The restrictions on the way women can serve in the Church based solely on their gender prevents them from fully developing all of their spiritual gifts. These restrictions are also the reason why we often find unaddressed abuse, sexism, disregard for the spiritual leadership and wisdom of women, and so many other heavy and hurtful things.” —Sherri Fanger McInnes
“It can sting when women's roles/duties and God's love of women are so frequently framed around being able to have a family. It hurts more for women who may already be hurting. Men get to be fathers in addition to their priesthood duties. Starting in their youth, girls need to see that they matter beyond the roles of nurturer, wife, and mother. They need to be empowered to know they can be multifaceted beings that are not expected to settle or doomed to wait for the eternities to finally fulfill God's plan for themselves. We can do more to protect and empower our daughters.” —Ashley H.
“Religion should be a conversation between both of our Heavenly Parents and all of their children, not a closed door meeting between the Father and His sons which is then dictated to His daughters. Clearing away the clutter and making the space for our Mother and all of the children back at the family table is the only way to move forward.” —Amanda Lynn Blair
“Rather than asking for more unpaid labor and emotional investment from women, could we instead say, “I want to hear you. What hurts? What can I do? What can WE do?” —M.M.
“Women have always given deeply—our time, our voices, and often our autonomy—out of faith and a desire to follow God’s will. But many are beginning to wonder whether true discipleship should require sacrificing their sense of equality.” —Lindsay Broadbent
Why are so many women unhappy with their place in the church organization now? Women need more than to be told they are valued; they need to have trust, authority, and autonomy in religious spaces.
“Fundamentally, if the church truly valued women, women wouldn’t need to be told they are valued—they would feel and know it, just as men do.” —Sarah Neipp
“If the church truly believed women are valuable as leaders, policy makers, problem solvers; then the church would look very different.” —Jannalee Evans
“I will believe the LDS church is serious about valuing women as equal partners when their actions start to match their rhetoric. One very easy thing they can do is consider general women leaders as equal partners to male leaders and give them as many opportunities to speak as they give other general authorities. Our general presidencies should be equivalent to top leaders of men and their dozens and dozens of women on general auxiliary boards should be seen and heard as often as general authority seventies are. This requires no change in doctrine or policy, just an actual commitment to acting out our stated beliefs: women’s voices and actions matter as much as men’s voices. So show us. I can’t hear what the LDS church says about my supposed equality because their (in)actions are so loud it drowns out the sound of their words.” —K.A.
“The truth is we don’t need the patriarchy to affirm our worth—we inherently know it. We know how much we do to scaffold the system. We know our value and are beginning to question why it is we’re working so hard in a system that we feel devalues us, if not in word, at least in action. Religious women will keep opting out until leadership opts in—to a more equitable pattern of administration, to a spiritual culture where men and women’s voices and authority are equally valued.” —Adrienne Cardon
Why are there so many women leaving the church now? Individual reasons for disaffiliation from the Church are complex and varied.
“Too often, the story goes that women are leaving organized religion because they’ve been distracted by the world; by ambition, materialism, or convenience. But that framing misses the deeper truth by a long shot. Many women aren’t turning away from faith. They’re turning toward spaces where their gifts, voices, and leadership are fully valued.” —Emilie Call
“Many women leave after years of deep commitment, prayer, and service—often because they encounter doctrinal inconsistencies, inequality, or theological shifts they can no longer ignore. Their decision is rarely about chasing sin or worldliness, it’s about integrity.” —Cara Mapp
“Women will continue leaving unless they are equally represented in decision-making spaces, feel free to speak, and know their influence is equal to men’s. BYU’s own research (Preece, Karpowitz, and Stoddard) confirms that women’s perspectives differ from men’s and add value. Yet the church does not reflect these findings.” —Sarah Neipp
“The women that I personally know leaving the church are some of the LEAST worldly and MOST compassionate women that I know… These are deeply caring women, and it is a devastating loss to the church to lose these sisters. I think the right question is why do they feel that they can serve Christ more purely outside the church rather than within the structures of the church?” —Lynne Burton
“Leaving the church does not equate to leaving the gospel of Christ. I know some who feel better connection with Christ and God outside the church. I can support them in that while still being an active member! We can still keep in community and worship differently.” —Amy S.
“Some women leave in earnest hope for improved mental and spiritual health… they leave because they feel the true character of Jesus Christ is not honored in our structure and practices.” —Josie Grover
“Perhaps many of these women are navigating through the complexity stage of their faith, continuing to grow on their spiritual path. This may look like losing their faith or testimony to others who are in a different stage of faith… but it doesn’t make them wrong or less faithful.” —Malia Price
“I loved when Elder Uchtdorf said in 2013(!) of those who leave the Church: "Sometimes we assume it is because they have been offended or lazy or sinful. Actually, it is not that simple. In fact, there is not just one reason that applies to the variety of situations" ("Come, Join With Us," General Conference Oct. 2013). Let's get curious about women's experience in the Church and then let's get committed and creative in coming together to make inspired changes! We can lay aside imperfections we have inherited from "this world" and "seek for the things of a better".” —Scott Baldwin
Why are some women so frustrated by conversations about women and church? Women have been saying these same things for a long time and are tired of not being heard.
“When our spiritual insights are dismissed, when our leadership is restricted, and when our labor is expected without partnership or recognition, it can become hard to stay. Many women are tired; not of faith, but of systems that overlook what we bring to the table.” —Emilie Call
“In many ways, the church seems to only value our work and loyalty—but not our voices, perspectives, leadership, or lived experience.” —Marlene Graf
“I feel conflicted in my desire to contribute because nothing I have to say is new. Many women before me have carefully packaged their words to be palatable while also portraying the depth of the problem. It feels so tiring to explain.” —Joanna Hawkins Taggart
“My act of faith is walking through those damn doors every Sunday despite it all, and doing sacrament with a broken heart… It is a hard-fought love to keep it up because I love Christ and the covenantal challenge of building Zion.” —K.A.
Responses have been lightly edited for clarity and length. Faith Matters actively seeks to publish more on these important topics; you can click here to learn more about submitting your writing to our magazine, Wayfare, and you can email Faith Matters at info@faithmatters.org. We are grateful for your feedback and contributions.
Artwork by Elise Wehle. Used by permission.